Judicial Misconduct Beef, Pork, Sausage Chili

Wash the beans carefully and soak them in enough salted water overnight to cover them by 2 inches. Bring to a boil and simmer the next day until tender (usually 2 to 3 hours).

Meanwhile, heat 2 tablespoons of the oil in a large, heavy skillet. Add the garlic, onions, bell peppers, and celery. Cook until the onions are clear. Remove and reserve.

Mix the ground meats. Add the remaining 1 tablespoon of oil to the skillet and sauté the meat, cooking on high heat until thoroughly browned. Drain the fat, remove the ground meat, and reserve.

Brown the cubed meat, drain, and reserve.

Place the reserved vegetables and meats in a large chili pot along with the sausage.

Add all remaining ingredients (except the beer, masa harina, or beans), a little at a time, stirring and mixing thoroughly between additions.

Carefully bring the temperature up to a simmer. Cook covered on very low heat approximately 5 hours.

Adjust the consistency after 3 hours. If too thin, uncover and reduce by turning the heat (carefully) up slightly. If it is still not the desired consistency, add masa harina (or flour) to thicken, or beer to thin, as needed.

Taste and adjust the spices carefully (the flavor will develop as the chili cooks). It should be hot enough to be memorable, but not so hot it takes the skin off the roof of your mouth. It is better to sneak up on hot. If it cries out to be hotter, add just enough Louisiana hot sauce.

Finally, and only if you absolutely must, add the cooked beans. A chili purist would jettison them without a second thought; if you want to serve the chili beanless, serve the beans on the side and let people indulge their own leguminous perversions.

Serve topped with the diced sweet onion, shredded Monterey Jack cheese, and a pinch of parsley.